Hey guys, Jess here!
I have slowly come to the conclusion that I may never fit back into my “pre-mom” jeans. It sucks, and it hurts. Before I got pregnant, I was at my smallest. I had spent nearly six years running, paying attention to my food and water intake, clocking kilometers and times.
When we first started telling people that we were expecting, the word “miscarriage” got thrown out by a few people. Being pregnant is scary enough, without the thought of a miscarriage. Especially when your nine weeks and haven’t had so much as a symptom. As soon as the first person dropped that word, I stopped running. Cold turkey.
How could I even think of doing something that MIGHT cause a problem? I couldn’t. I did my best to avoid ALL of the typical “maybe you shouldn’t do that’s” and the “you definitely shouldn’t do that”. Now here we are, Thomas is almost nine months old, and I can barely walk around the block. And why? Because a few people thought it was appropriate to compare their situations and physical difficulties to a brand new expecting parent that can over think enough on her own.
My advice? Don’t even think the word “miscarriage” when someone tells you they’re pregnant. Ever.
I had downloaded this app on my phone that takes you through the running schedule to get from 0-5 km in eight weeks. Right up my ally, it was well timed out, reminded me to run, even has a friendly voice to tell you when it’s time to run, or walk!
I mentally prepared myself, geared myself, the stroller, and Thomas up, and hit the neighborhood. Thomas screamed the entire block, so we went home. We tried this on two separate days, with the same results. I have come to the conclusion that if it’s up to Thomas, this Momma will not be running any time soon. It’s really frustrating, and really sad for me. I have found it a very difficult transition in some aspects of my life, from being just Jess, to being a parent. Somethings came so easy, somethings – like running – are just not even coming close anymore.
I loved running, it was a part of who I was. Who I am, and who I was are still able to live together, but I just need to figure out how to find that balance. I’m thinking that perhaps on the days that Matt is home at night, I may start taking night walks, just for the alone time and the regrouping. Maybe that’s the best idea for getting back to running, and feeling more like myself. Like the me I was, and the me I’d like to get to know again.
On a happier note – We have visual on two front teeth! Thomas has finally cut his two bottom teeth and my goodness they are huge. Trying to get through teething and a sleep regression took it’s tole on all three of us, but now that those little toofers are here, he is almost back to his usual happy self! We’re back to one night bottle, usually between 11-1:30, but it’s a bottle and back to bed. I can handle that, so long as his little self is at least a little happy to see me when he’s up for the day. He had a really tough time with those teeth, and I’m really not looking forward to the next round.
Hope you guys are having a great week, and are all geared up for Halloween! Thomas is going as a pirate, and I’m going as tired. Easy peasy costume eh?
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Hope you guys find your motivations this week, I know I’m struggling!
Stay possible guys,