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I Found My New Favorite



Hey guys, Jess here!

If you don’t have any kids yourself, I as well as any other parent – experienced with a whole heard or like me, and just one! – will tell you, teething sucks. Bring back my 12 hour sleeping, eat what ever you feed him, happy baby. Right now. This cranky, fussy, no-mom-I-will-not-in-fact-be-going-to-bed kid? He’s not the kid I know, and it’s taking a toll on me. I know, and understand that he’s going to change, and he’s going to wake up every day with a new skill or new sound, habit…what have you, morning to morning there’s always something different about Thomas. His routine being all a mess is what’s getting the best of me.

Thomas has had the same routine, give or take a few steps, and time frame as he ages – since he was six weeks old. Bottle, bath, (now) a story, and bed time. At five months, he was down to one night feeding, and before he hit six months, he was doing all nighters with the exception of the soother seek-and-find. (we’re starting to ween from that too, which isn’t making life any easier) With the teeth coming in, and the growth spurts, learning more and more, and becoming more aware it’s been difficult to get him to get any kind of sleep. I may be complaining a little bit here, where I really have no right. Like I’ve said before, he’s an incredibly easy baby, (the next one should be hell on wheels right?) so to all the moms and dads out there that are rolling their eyes and shaking their heads at my whining, I’m sorry. We all know it’s worth it in the end, and that we all struggle differently. You’re doing you’re best, hang in there, I believe in you.

Being all out of whack has gotten me really on edge. I’m taking it out on Matt without even realizing it, and our intimate life has taken a slight nose dive due to my anxiety and stress from trying to keep Thomas on schedule and comfortable while teething. We decided to get a bottle of wine last night, after a rather upsetting baby play group (I really don’t do well with social gatherings, I thought I could handle it but it just wasn’t meant to be) Matt told me to get the big bottle that would last a little longer and we could have a few glasses and relax after Thomas finally decided he was ready for bed.

Matt doesn’t really like wine, but tolerates the kind that I like. Last night I stuck pretty close to my usual but skirted around something different. I usually go for the Gallo White Zinfandel (No affiliation – but you should try it, so good) but last night I decided to go for something a little different. I grabbed the bottle of Barefoot Mascato (No affiliation but hold on to your hats cause that shit is good) after reading the label and seeing that it’s still a sweet wine, but has “citrus and apricot notes” whatever the heck that means. Either way, brought it home, popped the cork. Two glasses later I was half tipsy and wishing I could finish the bottle and still be able to “mom”. I’m not confident in my ability to be a parent and be intoxicated, and for me – I’m not judging at all, if you can I’m impressed and jealous – it just doesn’t work. I’m clumsy enough sober, so it’s any ones guess how well I fair when under the influence.

I’m starting to see the light at the end of the teething tunnel, and Matt and I are doing our best to be easy on each other because it’s hard enough to start with. Throw in my being a jerk for no reason, and him being tired for working, it makes a bad cocktail and neither of us deserves that.

Sometimes we struggle, and it seems impossible. Keep your heads up, take a deep breath and do a little something for yourself and soon you’ll see that it is, possible.

Have a good night guys,

  • Jess

One thought on “I Found My New Favorite

  1. I have a funny story about me being intoxicated and trying to parent…

    couple of summers ago i was quite drunk at the beach surrounded by my mom, dad, and sisters (they were drinking but they can handle their alcohol)… it was probably 4pm (no judging)… and i am such a light weight when it comes to drinking i probably only had one glass of wine… or one beer…

    anyhow…

    my daughter (Haven) comes running up form the beach holding onto a bloodied finger… she is covered in splattered blood… all over her face and shirt…

    I am as calm as a cucumber… I gave her almost no reaction…

    I pet her on the head and reassuringly explained that its probably not that bad… fingers are known to just bleed a lot… but it doesn’t mean anything…

    She looks at me and believes me… why wouldn’t she… i am old and wise and calm….

    (Meanwhile, inside my own head, i have already called 911 because she has probably severed an artery and is going to bleed out in my moms travel trailer kitchen. )

    I manage to convince her to let go of her finger and place it under the water coming from the faucet in the sink…

    she lets go…

    its not even bleeding…

    I say “Haven, your finger isn’t even bleeding… what happened… how did you get blood al over your face?”

    She explains that she cut her finger on a razor fish and while she was coming up to the trailer she was shaking her finger because it hurt so bad… and shaking it made it feel better…

    I gave her a bandaid and sent her back to the beach… i grabbed another beer….

    🙂

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